Today, I'm glad that I don't have 100 people waiting for every word...because my words don't make sense. I'm writing in that area of anxiety between what I know is truth and what I remember as truth.
The area that I know is truth is this...
My friend is going to have brain surgery in the a.m. She will have a ton of extremely competent people on her side the whole time. It will hurt like hell. She'll be drugged and won't remember that part of it. Like any other pain, it will go away...sometimes even though we try our best to hold on to it. It will go away. I guarantee that there have been times when I've wanted to dwell and say, "Ouch! let pain be my excuse to do "xxx". Invariably, I start feeling better. I can't help dancing. I can't help playing. I can't help being hopeful. I can't help being happy. So my plans to stay down fail miserably. Big Thanks for that to...Dave? God? Family? Friends? Work? Bunnies? Birds?
The area that I remember as truth is this....
I have tubes. It doesn't matter.
I look different. It doesn't matter.
I don't feel good now. It doesn't matter.
This is new. It doesn't matter.
I don't know the outcome. It doesn't matter.
I'm not in control. It doesn't matter.
It's getting late. They might not have Diet Coke in the fridge. It DOES matter. :-)
God, I have a friend that needs to know this, and I can't figure out how to say this.
She knows.
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3 comments:
My thoughts are with you and your friend.
Thanks, Bea. :-)
very well said. Even though you thought it didn't make sense it totally does make sense. =)
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